But no! We're going to talk about the restaurant that was brilliantly and simply called...The Diner. Not Pine Grove Diner. Not Grove Diner. Not Ye Olde Diner. Just...The Diner.
Okay...whatever works I guess...
This....diner...is open 24 hours, thankfully. IT'S 50'S THEMED! They have old pictures. They have memorabilia. They have a juke box ... no wait, that was a claw machine game. There were 2 things that seemed really out of place here and I'm going to look past it and pretend it doesn't exist: they serve beer and they sell beer...meaning..they have...beer coolers. Yeah with like 12-packs and stuff. Yeah, like what you'd normally see at a gas station. Huh?! *scratches head*
Okay...whatever works I guess...
I was here for breakfast and the service was...mediocre at best. It really set the tone for what could easily be a lousy breakfast buy a server who didn't give a crap about me being seated in her section. I was having trouble deciding what to order for breakfast. It was too early for lunch, which is a shame because their appetizer menu included: pierogies (will have to come back and try those) and a crock of French Onion soup (will really have to come back to try that!).
I did notice a Jersey special for breakfast that involved taylor ham. I have no idea what taylor ham is but apparently they love it over there. I'll have to try that, too, next time. I was kind of in the mood for an omelette and one in particular really jumped out at me: Greek omelette. Spinach, olives and feta cheese. I dismissed it because I don't like olives but the more I kept looking at other things in the menu, I kept going back to that darn Greek omelette. Alright, Liz, just get it!
So, Greek omelette, home fries with onions (or without, she asked), and toast. Oh and coffee.
...man that's a lot of olives. Baked in olives, at that.
So how was it? The home fries were pretty good. They tasted fresh and home made. I could do with or without the onions next time, didn't really add or take away from anything. The wheat toast was nice, and the coffee was really good except my server was really lacking in the refill department.
Oh you wanted to know about the omelette, didn't you? I was afraid you were going to ask me about that. Okay, okay. I'll tell you about the omelette. Oh hey, the 50s decor was really fun and they even have a frequent diner card if you stop in frequen...
..you really want to know about that omelette don't you? Geez you're pushy, alright! I'll tell you about the omelette...
AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS!
I'm stalling aren't I? Yes, yes I am. I don't want to talk about the omelette!
Alright I'll talk about the omelette...
...TOMORROW! Sorry kids, we're out of time today. Tune in tomor...
...
...fine I'll talk about the stupid omelette.
My general enjoyment of feta cheese almost made up for my general disdain (ooo! nice word choice, Liz!).. sorry I'll start over. My general enjoyment of feta cheese almost made up for my general disdain of black olives. They were so gross! The first bite I thought "okay, this isn't so bad, I can do this." Second bite, "well, I really like the spinach and the feta cheese!" Third bite "this isn't enjoyable any more". Fourth bite "OH MY GAWD I CAN'T MASK THE FLAVOR!"
So I'm sure you're asking one of two questions, and I'll address them both.
Question #1) Why did you keep eating it, Liz?
Answer #1) For the sake of writing this blog. I suffered for my craft. Plus I thought maybe, MAYBE, when you cook olives the flavor and texture wouldn't be as bad. I was wrong. Even the strong taste of the feta cheese didn't cover up the flavor of the olives. And then the texture. Ugh..the texture. Don't make me order that again, please.
Question #2) Why didn't you just take the olives...out?
Answer #2) They were cooked into the omelette! Do you realize how much of an OCD freak I would have looked like taking my knife and fork and cutting...every..single..olive...out of that omelette? And then, say I did do that. Do you realize what my omelette would have looked like when I was done? It would be a very hole-y omelette! Think of how ridiculous it would look to see one slightly neurotic lady truck driver with an omelette full of holes and a pile of black olives off to the side with little bits of egg still attached. They'd put me in the nuthouse after observing such a scene!
Question #3) Why didn't you order something else?
Answer #Mind_Your_Own_Business) I didn't want to be a bother.
(hypothetical exchange that never actually happened)
"Is everything alright?"
"I really don't like this, can I order something else?"
"Was something wrong with it?"
"...I don't like olives."
"You didn't know it came with olives? It says so on the menu. Why did you order it if you knew you wouldn't like it?"
"BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT! Can I have the mushroom and swiss omelette even though I hate mushrooms but maybe there's an off-chance cooking mushrooms will cancel out the flavor and texture that I find so repulsive?"
"Leave before I call the cops."
(end of hypothetical exchange that never actually happened)
So there you have it.
If you like black olives, you'll love the Greek omelette!
If you hate black olives, get some cereal or something. Don't get the Greek omelette!
Let's talk about something better, shall we?
While I was checking out to pay for my wretched Greek omelette, I noticed the muffins under a glass lid by the register. Blueberry or chocolate. They looked enticing. They were presented nicely. I could use a snack for later.
"How much are the muffins?"
"$1.99"
"Could you add one to my check, please?"
"Sure, sweetie, which one?"
(I never get tired of it when a woman calls me sweetie in a nice way, I don't know why)
Here is where I conducted my own very carefully crafted and executed opinion poll. Gallup would have been really proud of me. I asked the lady assisting me, which would she suggest and she said blueberry. So I asked another lady behind the counter who was taking an interest in our conversation which one she would suggest and she said blueberry. Finally a third server behind the counter came out from the back and fell victim to my carefully crafted and executed poll which muffin she'd recommend and she said blueberry. So that settles it! 100% of The Diner servers polled preferred the blueberry muffin over the chocolate muffin. Sample size - 3. Check this out: no margin of error! 100% accuracy, baby!
Now granted they did ask me if I liked chocolate, to which I responded, "I'm a girl, of course I like chocolate" which garnered a few understanding laughs. So they wrapped up a nice, fresh, blueberry muffin for me to snack on later. But before I were to tear into it, I thought it would be a good idea to take a picture first.
Looks nice, right? I love how they did that paper instead of a usual muffin cup thing. It looks fancy. It looks snazzy (do people even say that any more?). It looked high-quality and pricey.
And loyal readers, it tasted as good as it looked...no...it tasted even better than it looked. This muffin was delightful! It was scrumptous. It was moist and soft and tasty and...it was one of the best muffins I've ever had. No wonder 100% of servers I polled suggested it! It was so good! I almost turned around to go get another (not really, I was already in New York by that time). It was...really really good. I should have had that for breakfast instead.
..but then this blog entry wouldn't be as interesting. or as long (sorry about that).
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